POETRY BOOK Stories in the stream of life
In all fairness, I must clarify one point in this intro; the character in this poem had a useless father. That was never the case with my own dad. He was always there and tried his best, but when a boy really wants to be the bad guy, only time and pain can knock that senselessness out of his mind....
I’ll sit on the beach and wonder “why”
Why do I destroy every good thing In my life?
Why did I find the perfect woman
And hurt her so badly ‘til she’d never be my wife?
I’m a bad boy, I guess,
that’s what it is
Still trying to run away
From the crooked things I did
Nowadays, I wear a few tattoos
One of ‘em tells the world that I was born to lose
I want to
“eat like a horse,
Fight like a demon,
Drink like a fish,
And die like a hero”
But then, I’m reminded
Of something I should have known…
Angels fight harder than demons, you see
So that means that a loser is what I’ll always be.
Anybody could see the state of my destiny —
I won’t be dyin’ like no hero
I’ll be goin’ out something less than zero.
I’m just a bad boy, I guess that’s what it is
Used to break momma’s vases
And soil her floor
Would run outside
Not ever bothering to even close the door
But that kind of thing just isn’t cute anymore
Daddy always said that I’d turn out bad
Guess it was a lot of truth in the words of that old man
Why, Poppa continuously was telling Momma
“you’ll be appalled at they way that boy’s gonna fall
It’ll hafta be horrific, that kid’s eventual end,
Since you just refuse
When it gets down to giving him discipline!"
HE was gone, off to see life with yet another new girlfriend
See ya later daddy - o, and thanks for the discipline
Funny thing is,
Just when I think
That there’s no compassion left in me
I’ll go and do something That’s really a good thing.
Is that confusing for you?
Well, by god, it’s confusing for me, too.
Cause I’m a bad boy, you see, and
Guys like me just don’t do good things.
There’s some women, when they see me, they just git turned on
Cause they just love the way that I’m always doin’ wrong
Maybe, baby, they seem to think
That they’d become a light in my life and save me from me.
Or that the touch of their love would make me wanna change
but I still kiss the girls and make them cry, then
Turn my back and walk away, without batting one eye
Cause, for me, everything just remains the same
it won’t ever go any other way, though,
It’s that One truth they never seem to want to know —
how I’ll tell ‘em I love em,
then leave them behind While they sleep.
But they just ought to understand
Since the way of the roll of that wheel of my life
means I’ll always say goodbye.
I’ll never have and love a wife
Cause I’m a bad boy, you see.
And that’s the only thing I’ll ever know how to be.
But enough of yesterday
Let’s let it go for awhile
Look at what’s happenin’ today!
I ride, runnin' on, on my speeding motorcycle
And hope the cops don’t catch me when I run
Cause they just wouldn’t understand
why I gotta carry a gun…
Uh oh, they got me hemmed in now!
They say give it up — but not me, no way, no how!
I’m just not goin back.
I’ll jump off my bike and fight Right here,
And so, Like a bloody knife, matte black.
I send lead at them, maybe even hit a few
But I’m undisciplined, while they know just what to do
That’s why their bullets keep rippin through me
‘cuz I just jumped in way outta my league
Oh boy, guess I’ll just lay it down here on the street
Cause I’m just flat tired of this losin’ scene.
I'm tastin blood and leakin life
Worn out inside from playin it tight
It’s Goodbye to the woman I’d wished was my wife
Cause, now it’s time for me to just go on to sleep
knowin this was continuously my destiny
Since I’ve always been a bad boy, you see…
Stephen W. Winslow